Lynne Finney's Recovered Memories
Things may be looking up for John Bolton, for the "accusations" against him are becoming even more preposterous. USA Today has the latest:

On Friday, Lynne Finney, a former legal adviser to the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), sent a letter to Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif. Finney wrote that Bolton "screamed that I was fired" when she refused to lobby for a weakening of restrictions on the sale of infant formula in the developing world.

State Department deputy spokesman Adam Ereli said "no one at USAID at the time has any recollection" of such an incident. . . . According to the letter, a copy of which Boxer's office e-mailed to USA TODAY, the incident took place in late 1982 or early 1983, when Bolton, as the top lawyer at USAID, outranked Finney. She was on the staff as a legal adviser. Boxer's office verified that Finney sent the letter.

Finney, who is now a motivational speaker, said in the letter that she cared about world peace and wanted to help defeat Bolton's nomination.

So, who is Lynne Finney? To judge from the writings on her own Web site, she's a poster child for liberalism at its most eccentric:

This is a time of rapid evolution and intense transformation for us all. New discoveries in quantum physics, psychology, and spirituality are revealing ways to create wonderful new realities. It's estimated that more than 14 million people have already become enlightened or Self-realized. Some are visible but most lead ordinary lives. Each time someone reaches Self-realization, it affects the collective Mind. Things are heating up. Like popcorn, we are all popping faster and are reaching enlightenment at a rapid rate.

Hat tip: PoliPundit.com. It also turns out she has a history of "recovering memories" of "abuse":

She was born into the madhouse of Hollywood's fantasy factory. Her mother was an artist and her father an award-winning screenwriter and novelist. She and her parents were portrayed in magazines as "the perfect family," but behind this facade was a nightmare world of violence and sexual abuse that lasted from the time Lynne was born until she was eight years old. Lynne had four near-death experiences that profoundly impacted her life. . . .

When she began recovering memories of having been abused by her father, Lynne went back to graduate school to earn a masters degree in clinical social work and became a psychotherapist, in order to heal herself and others. . . .

During her recovery process, Lynne began to have spiritual experiences that opened her to new perceptions of reality. She studied the scriptures of many religions, explored the teachings of spiritual masters, and emerged from a world she perceived as hell into a world of miracles. She now works to help others out of suffering, into their true power, and to realization of their true Selves.

Now Barbara Boxer asks us to take seriously Finney's recovered memory of John Bolton's having hurt her feelings. Even if true, who cares? It was more than 20 years ago. To borrow a phrase once popular among Democrats, it's long past time to move on.

If the Finney "allegation" doesn't sink Bolton, what next? Maybe the Dems can round up Bolton's elementary-school classmates and find out if he was ever mean to any of them. It's about the children!

Bolton's 'Pleasant Demeanor'
Today John Bolton is under attack for being a hothead, but two years ago at least one left-liberal media outlet was singing a different tune. In a Salon article dated July 16, 2003, Nicholas Thompson describes Bolton as follows (link requires subscription or sitting through a tedious ad):

Bolton is surely "an ideologue's ideologue," as his frequent sparring partner Joseph Cirincione, at the mainstream Carnegie Foundation, describes him. But it's also not quite that simple.

For one, unlike most ideologues, particularly hard-charging ones on the right, Bolton gains power from his pleasant demeanor, much as Jesse Helms does. During the Florida recount, Bolton was a confident and calm professional. Ron Asmus, a Clinton deputy assistant secretary of state, calls Bolton "friendly, charming and interesting" even while pointing out that Bolton often advocates positions that make Asmus' jaw drop. . . .

In a less dramatic way, Bolton's success parallels that which Helms sees at the battle of Armageddon: the forces of good trampling the forces of evil as the seven angels blow their seven trumpets and everything else gets razed. The trouble is that, despite his pleasant demeanor and level-headedness, Bolton's definition of evil seems rather large--encompassing not just the standard axis but also, for example, the International Criminal Court's efforts to track down war criminals or genocidaires.

This should make it clear, if it wasn't already, that the complaints about Bolton's demeanor and temperament are simply a smokescreen for ideological objections to his pro-American worldview.

(Liberal) Lions vs. Christians
Bill Frist, the Senate majority leader, delivered a videotaped address yesterday to a rally sponsored by the Family Research Council, a Christian group. Democrats and liberals are apoplectic. As we noted Friday, John Kerry* took to the Senate floor last week to denounce Frist, taking care to point out that some of his best friends are "people of faith." The New York Times' Frank Rich is even shriller (not to mention almost Friedmanesque in his clumsy use of metaphor):

Senator Frist had hoped to deflect criticism of his cameo on "Justice Sunday" by confining his appearance to video. Though he belittled the disease-prevention value of condoms in that same "This Week" interview, he apparently now believes that videotape is just the prophylactic to shield him from the charge that he is breaching the wall separating church and state.

What are we to make of all this? Well, let's apply the old shoe-on-the-other-foot test. Suppose Republicans and conservatives responded with equivalent vitriol to a Democrat's speaking before a liberal interest group like the NAACP or a gay-rights organization. Is there any doubt that Democrats and liberals would charge their foes with bigotry against blacks or gays?

By their own standards, then, Kerry, Rich & Co. are clearly guilty as charged of anti-Christian bigotry.

* The haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way promised 85 days ago to release his military records.

Reckonings
When the New York Times announced in 1999 that it was hiring former Enron adviser Paul Krugman as a columnist, it promised "The Times's first regular Op-Ed column devoted to economics, business and finance." Instead Krugman ended up producing one of several op-ed columns devoted to hyperpartisanship and bile. Today's column, however, is ostensibly about economics, and it shows how far Krugman has strayed from the original purpose of his column:

According to John Snow, the Treasury secretary, the global economy is in a "sweet spot." Conservative pundits close to the administration talk, without irony, about a "Bush boom."

Yet two-thirds of Americans polled by Gallup say that the economy is "only fair" or "poor." And only 33 percent of those polled believe the economy is improving, while 59 percent think it's getting worse.

Is the administration's obliviousness to the public's economic anxiety just partisanship? I don't think so: President Bush and other Republican leaders honestly think that we're living in the best of times. After all, everyone they talk to says so.

Krugman's column cites nothing other than opinion polls to rebut the administration's sunny economic views. Given that the Times hired him for his expertise as an economist, is it too much to ask that he base his arguments about the economy on economic rather than political data?

What's Happened to Fox?
The Associated Press reports that the U.S. prison population grew "at a rate of about 900 inmates each week between mid-2003 and mid-2004." And of course the AP's Siobhan McDonough treats us to the usual confusion about what it all means:

While the crime rate has fallen over the past decade, the number of people in prison and jail is outpacing the number of inmates released, said the [Bureau of Justice Statistics] report's co-author, Paige Harrison. For example, the number of admissions to federal prisons in 2004 exceeded releases by more than 8,000, the study found.

Hmm, more criminals are in prison and the crime rate is down. Seems like simple cause and effect to us, but somehow it's supposed to be a paradox.

We're worried about the New York Times' Fox Butterfield, though. You could almost set your watch by Butterfield's puzzled dispatches about the strange finding that crime is down and more criminals are behind bars. But we checked the Times Web site and Butterfield was nowhere to be found; the paper ran the AP story instead. It's a bit unnerving, and we hope Butterfield is all right.

A Washington Post editorial, meanwhile, has another variation on this "paradox":

In Baltimore, murders are up and convictions are down. You read that correctly: Even as the city has gained the dubious distinction of having the nation's highest big-city murder rate, prosecutors say that conviction rates in homicide cases are falling. The main cause is that, increasingly, witnesses will not cooperate or testify, often because they are afraid. And no wonder: Since last September seven witnesses have been shot or murdered--a rate of about one a month.

The authorities are having a harder time prosecuting murderers, and there are more murders. "You read that correctly," says the Post--but why wouldn't you? It makes perfect sense.

And You Thought Dan Rather Was Biased
"The BBC was [on Saturday] night plunged into a damaging general election row after it admitted equipping three hecklers with microphones and sending them into a campaign meeting addressed by Michael Howard, the Conservative leader," reports London's Sunday Telegraph:

The Tories have made an official protest after the hecklers, who were given the microphones by producers, were caught at a party event in the North West last week. Guy Black, the party's head of communications, wrote in a letter to Helen Boaden, the BBC's director of news, that the hecklers began shouting slogans that were "distracting and clearly hostile to the Conservative Party."

These included "Michael Howard is a liar," "You can't trust the Tories" and "You can only trust Tony Blair."

The explanation? "The BBC claimed that the exercise was part of a 'completely legitimate programme about the history and art of political heckling' and said that other parties' meetings were being 'observed.' "

Abortive Abortions
"The Bush administration said Friday that it would enforce a nearly 3-year-old federal law that requires doctors to attempt to keep alive a fetus that survives an abortion," reports the Associated Press in a dispatch bearing the weird title "White House to Enforce Abortion-Fetus Law." The New York Times has an even more bizarre statement:

In a telephone conference call announcing the new enforcement policy, [Dennis] Smith [director of the federal Center for Medicaid and State Operations] could not provide a rule of thumb to distinguish a fetus from a "born-alive infant."

This is confusing only to those who insist on denying that a fetus is what it is, namely an unborn child. Once a child is born, he ceases being a fetus and is simply a child.

Zero-Tolerance Watch
Columnist John Kelso of the Austin American-Statesman reports that the schools in Texas' capital are protecting their charges from being knitted to death:

Our yarn--pun intended--began Wednesday when Mariel Polter, 12, an all-A student in seventh grade at Kealing Middle School, dragged out her purple plastic knitting needles in class to do some knitting.

Mariel had just finished up her TAKS [Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills] test early. So she figured she'd busy herself and kill some time creatively.

"She had two hours on her hands, and she's knitting little spring scarves for this arts and crafts show," explained Robbin Polter, Mariel's mom. . . .

"[The teacher] got on the phone and said, 'Are you aware that Mariel has brought knitting needles to school?' " Robbin Polter recalled. "I said, 'Yes, I knew she had TAKS, and she thought she was just burning up some time.' Then he sort of realized how stupid it was, and he said, 'I don't really worry about Mariel, but Kealing has a zero tolerance policy.' I said, 'I didn't realize that would be a problem, but could you just hold on to them for her until after school?' "

The good news is that the teacher agreed. Mariel "wasn't disciplined, and she got her knitting needles back." Still, it seems ridiculous that a school would ban a "weapon" so harmless that, even post-Sept. 11, it's still allowed on airplanes.

The Kalamazoo Gazette Imitates the Onion

"Researchers at the University of Massachusetts released a surprising new study indicating that, contrary to long-held beliefs about its destructive effects, collegiate binge drinking is a blast. 'Data collected at bars and fraternity parties on the UMass campus has yielded unexpected conclusions with regard to the practice of binge drinking,' study head Dr. Albert Greaves said. 'Over the course of our research, a consistent pattern emerged demonstrating that binge drinking seriously kicks butt.' "--"New Study Finds College Binge Drinking to Be a Blast," the Onion, March 24, 1999

"The Kalamazoo Gazette published a series of stories last Sunday focusing on the problem of heavy drinking by young adults on and off campus. In that report was a story about a drinking game called 'beer pong.' As a part of the reporting for the series, staff writer Craig McCool and photographer Mairin Chapman arranged to go to an off-campus apartment where the game was being played. McCool and Chapman said they consumed alcohol while reporting and photographing the story. They did not divulge this information to their editors prior to the story's publication."--"Kalamazoo Gazette Admits Misconduct," Kalamazoo (Mich.) Gazette, April 23, 2005

Next Time They'll Try Wild Turkey
"Bad Gym Beam Sends Students Home Early"--headline, KYTV Web site (Springfield, Mo.), April 22

Can't They Talk Civil Instead?
"Bush, Saudi Prince Talking Crude in Texas"--headline, FoxNews.com, April 25

What Would Ohioans Do Without Polls?
"Poll Finds Ohioans Still Split on Bush"--headline, Cincinnati Enquirer, April 23

What Would Researchers Do Without Studies?
"Study: Research Worth the Money"--headline, Tallahassee (Fla.) Democrat, April 25

What Would Exploding Toads Baffle Without Experts?
"Exploding Toads Baffle Experts"--headline, Agence France-Presse, April 24

Because Children Are the Vast Majority
"Men Are Minority in Grade Schools"--headline, Daily Press (Hampton, Va.), April 24

Poodles of the World, Unite!
Thomas Frank, author of "What's the Matter With Kansas?" has an article in The New York Review of Books called "What's the Matter With Liberals?" To the extent that he answers that question, it amounts to a recapitulation of the lukewarm Marxism of his book: Religion--or "values," in the 21st-century idiom--is the opiate of the masses, and liberals would win the votes of less-affluent Americans if only they focused on economic class consciousness.

Of course, John Kerry** is an unlikely tribune of hardscrabble-Americans, as Frank acknowledges--though he spends most of his time whining about how mean the Republicans were in caricaturing Kerry as an out-of-touch aristocrat. Among his complaints:

The NRA came up with an image that brilliantly encapsulated the whole thing: an elaborately clipped French poodle in a pink bow and a Kerry-for-president sweater over the slogan "That dog don't hunt."[10]

The pedantic footnote, though, is the best part of the whole article (emphasis his):

[10] In fact, poodles are hunting dogs, bred hundreds of years ago to retrieve ducks from water. Their distinctive clipped coats were designed to aid them in this purpose, keeping the dog's body and joints warm as it splashes about but otherwise leaving it free from encumbrance. See Jill Hunter Pellettieri, "Why Are Poodle Haircuts So Weird?," Slate, February 10, 2004.

Actually, the delightfully named Slate writer says that poodles used to be hunting dogs, back in 16th- and 17th-century Germany. The current stereotype is based in more recent history:

Poodles' haircuts evolved into some of the more ornate and elaborate incarnations we see today when the animals gained popularity in France, particularly in the 18th century under the reign of Louis XVI. Poodles, especially the smaller varieties, were popular with the nobility, who would mold the little dogs' hair into extravagant styles, sometimes mimicking the ornate pompadours that French men and women wore themselves at the time.

Likening Kerry to a poodle, then, doesn't seem all that unfair to poodles. Besides, until 40 years or so ago, most Democrats were hawks. If they can change, why can't dogs? Doesn't Frank believe in evolution?

** Ibid.

(Carol Muller helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to M. Gilbertson, Ed Lasky, Samuel Walker, David Sherdell, Allen O'Donnell, Peter D'Souza, John Steele Gordon, Dave Holman, David Schmitz, Andrew Robinson, Russell Desch, Ryan Hurey, Andrew Casterline, Jeffrey Julson, Chris Huskins, Al Heithaus, Reid Matthews, Michael Hornback, Marc Kliewer, Dan O'Shea, Steve Tefft, Robert Fredericks, Larry McCarthy, Charlie Gaylord, Paul Dyck, Kevin Gowen, Jason McNamara, Sean Small, Edward Friedman, Rosanne Klass, Bill Kelly, William Katz, Drew Anderson, Peter Rice, Mark Schulze, Bob O'Hara, Michael Napier, John Walton, Patrick Bennett, Daniel Goldstein, Pete Drum, Bill Pearce, Leonard Schulte, Jennifer Ray, John Williamson, Philip Purrington and Cristina Concepcion. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)